satire

BREAKING: Black Rabbit at Center of United Controversy had History of Carrot Abuse

CHICAGO, IL — Described as “belligerent and disruptive” by United Airlines CEO, sources today confirmed the 10-month old black rabbit in the middle of the latest United scandal had a troubling history of carrot abuse.

In heath records obtained from the rabbit’s vet, the carrot abuse can be traced back several months. Although carrots are not considered addictive, excessive use could explain the rabbit’s bad behavior while aboard the flight from Heathrow to Chicago.

Along with comments describing the rabbits troubling behavior, United Airline’s CEO also commented in an internal memo to United employees that the rabbit was simply “re-accommodated to that farm where all the good pets go”.

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